Family Update

It's been a month since I have posted and thought that it was time to create one last post, and say goodbye to this method of communication.

Our journey through Joe's illness was rough. Although the outcome was the worst possible that could have occurred, Gina, Tom and I are grateful for those of you who have not only followed our course, but were the wings that kept us afloat. As I have said so many times, words of thanks are simply not enough to fulfill all of the wonderful random acts of kindness bestowed on all four of us. I think back over those 11 months and ask myself hundreds of questions - I know that I did everything that was in my power to help find a cure for Joe - I hope that I kept all of you up to date on our path - and that my communication was clear, honest, albeit a tough one to deliver. I know that you all realize how hard it has been for us since Joe has died.

How are we? That question is asked of me daily, and I usually answer - we are hanging in there. Life certainly has thrown us a curve ball, but as a family we were strong, and as a family we are still strong. None of us are sleeping well - and we all spend a good part of our day with tears in our eyes and a weight in our heart. While Joe is not with us any longer physically, we feel his presence in our every day life - and we grieve for his loss. Many have said that time heals the wound - it's been 3 1/2 months and time has done nothing to heal any of us! Many say that it was a blessing. To me, a blessing would be to see him sitting in his chair smiling at me asking what's for dinner! But, life has taken us in a different path - a new path - and we are gingerly finding our way through the maze. Joe left me with 28 years of memories and 2 wonderful children. We, throughout our marriage, nurtured a family in Rochester and gathered oodles of great friends - both groups of which have been so wonderful. 780 people came through Joe's calling hours. 780 people who offered their condolences to us - 780 people who cared. I am overwhelmed by the generosity & outpouring of love from these people in my life.

At Joe's service I spoke of great tragedy and how it brings out the best in so many people. We, unfortunately, since Joe's death, have also seen it bring out the worst in others. For that I am tremendously saddened.

But, as we forge ahead toward life, we are following a set of plans that God has laid out for us. I am taking the time to do some much needed house cleaning - Joe was the proverbial pack rat - and it's been both wonderful and depressing to go through this personal items. It is a bit of a cleansing experience though - and I believe I am growing with every effort. I do plan to sell our house and move closer to work and my sister once Tom graduates from high school. While I dread moving, the reality is that the house and yard is just too big for me to take care of by myself!

Gina is concentrating on finishing up her junior year - will be home in mid May for work and another session of classes to complete her major course work. Her goal is to take the GRE's and get into grad school in either RIT or U of R while working at Unity Health once she graduates from UB. We are so proud of her efforts.

Tom has finished his Varsity basketball season -while the team's record certainly did not reflect their level of skill, Tom was voted MIP - Most Improved Player - for the season. Gina, Blake and I were so proud of his accomplishments, and yes, I cried at the banquet! He is currently running Varsity track and practicing with his AAU basketball team and Travel soccer team. He'll be a senior before I know it.

Many groups of people have still been supportive in our remembrances of Joe and we are grateful for the love and support of you. The Rochester Rhinos are working on dedicating a game in Joe's memory this summer.

As we travel this road we are saddened by other people in our lives who are enduring cancer or other life threatening issues and I would like to ask for a prayer for them all:

My Godfather - who is still battling melanoma. He's a brave warrior and such a wonderful influence in our lives.

Greg Sengillo - currently battling Leukemia - Greg went to high school with my sister Toni and cousin Paul - his sister Donna Jean and I were inseparable for many years. His parents were like second parents to me. He is in the hospital battling complications from his stem cell transplant.

Scott Anderson - still battling brain cancer - he is changing chemotherapy treatments. How wonderful if a miracle cure could come his way - there is no one more deserving.

Joe Gentile - this gentle man who Joe and I have known for 25 years has recently passed away - suddenly - leaving his wife of 41 years Gloria - wonderfully giving people who touched our lives, and the lives of Gina and Tom with unconditional love. He will be greatly missed.

A Good Man - By James Whitcomb Riley
A good man never dies -
In worthy deed and prayer,
And helpful hands, and honest eyes,
If smile or tears be there;
Who lives for you and me -
Lives for the world he tries,
To help - he lives eternally.
A good man never dies.

Who lives to bravely take
His share of toil and stress,
And for his weaker follows' sake
makes every burden less -
He may, at last, seem worn -
Lie fallen - hands and eyes
Folded - yet, though we mourn and mourn,
A good man never dies.

So, with that I leave you and this blog. How wonderful of Paul to put it together for me. It's so like him to think of something for me, before I even know I need it. Friends............

Love and peace be with you forever.

Vicki, Gina & Tom